Power Bob

Why is it that two particular types of retailers treat consumers as if we are complete idiots? Yes, I’m referring to auto dealerships and discount furniture stores, and their inane commercials. Although they annoy me to no end, I have been known to purchase items from these establishments if they have a great deal. I even bought a car once from a dealer who called himself Jolly John.

In New England, the discount furniture market is utterly dominated by a chain called Bob's Discount Furniture. Bob's commercials are produced as if three-year-old children are the target market for his sofas and dining room tables. But this guy is taking his quirky persona all the way to the bank. He owns more than 40 stores, and if he’s not near you on the east coast yet, he soon will be. As a result, he lives quite comfortably, thank you.

So what does this have to do with me (notice how almost all of my blog posts have something to do with me)? Here’s the deal. Once I'm in bed, I am kinda stuck there in terms of what positions I can easily get myself into. I can't sit up to watch TV or read. I can't raise my knees up and prop something against them. I can't easily shift from lying on one side to lying on my back to lying on the other side. I just can’t get comfortable. This is where Bob comes in.

After watching a particularly absurd commercial, it occurred to me that one of his products might render my time in bed much more enjoyable (okay, my adolescent readers, let's pause right here so that you can get your get your giggles out of the way). The product is called the Power Bob bed. The Power Bob can automatically raise and lower your head and feet. You can get this bed in king-size such that each half of the bed, mine and Kim’s, can be operated independently. The Power Bob gives you most of the benefits of a hospital bed, without the loneliness.

So we bought the Power Bob, at a price well below that of the national brands, and set it up in our bedroom. Wow, what a wonderful investment!

I make use of the Power Bob in two primary ways. For the first time in years, I can go to bed early or stay in bed late and enjoy television or reading, by raising the upper half of my body using the power Bob.

Also, if at any point during the night I start to get uncomfortable from lying in one position too long, I can raise my feet a couple of inches, or my head a couple of inches, and that seems to help. The Power Bob is doing for me in bed what a wheelchair does for me out of bed. It gives me a little mobility, and a little mobility is a good thing.

Kim loves the new bed too. It's so much more comfortable for her to sit up using the Power Bob than to prop herself up using a pile of pillows behind her head. Maybe everyone should have a Power Bob. If I ever run for public office perhaps I’ll borrow from the Herbert Hoover campaign slogan: "A chicken in every pot and a Power Bob in every bedroom!"