Losses and Gains 2012

Given that we have now ushered in 2013, this seems an appropriate time to render an honest assessment of what I’ve gained and lost in the past year, and what changes may await me in the coming year.

2012 Negatives

• Started having mini panic attacks
• Two painful experiences with lumbar punctures

2012 Positives

• New, very accessible sidewalks were constructed in my neighborhood throughout the summer
• iPad mini (e-reader on steroids)
• No more restless leg syndrome because of pramipexole
• Panic attacks controlled by Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Lexapro
• Wonderful vacations to the Bahamas and Cleveland (two tourist hotspots)
• Several new friends (like Darcy, for example)
• New Invacare power wheelchair (I still need to post about this)
• 6 intrathecal methotrexate treatments
• Negligible disease progression (presumably due to intrathecal methotrexate)
• New Dodge Grand Caravan wheelchair van (sold Kim’s car and my old van)

2013 Potential Losses (if my disease progression resumes these may be the things that I lose next)

• Ability to operate zippers (already very difficult)
• The rest of my personal grooming tasks
• Ability to sign my own name (that’s all I currently do for handwriting)
• Sitting up in bed, unassisted
• Transferring to and from my wheelchair, unassisted
• Feeding myself
• A few things that I can’t even imagine (the devil I don’t know)

2013 Potential Gains

• Another year of negligible disease progression (fingers crossed)
• Saving the iBot (Dec 31, 2013 is our “mobility cliff”)
• Trip to Jamaica (expect posts in March)
• Still more new friends (despite my lack of social skills, they keep coming)
• Entire summer in new, more walkable neighborhood
• A few things that I can’t even imagine (P. F. Chang’s opens a restaurant in my neighborhood?)
• Another year above ground

This 2012 assessment is much more upbeat than my 2011 assessment. That was a rough year for me, and so I was naturally pessimistic about 2012. But things have turned around, at least for the moment. By no means am I assuming that my disease stabilization will continue, but it’s a bit like winning a sports championship – nobody can take it away from me. My 2012 MS Success trophy now sits prominently on my mantle, to the left of the trophy for Stuffed an Entire Peanut Butter Sandwich in My Mouth that I won in 7^th grade, and to the right of the trophy for Made a Move on the Freshman Girl with the Nice Ass and Playful Personality that I won in 10^th grade.

Nobody can ever take these accomplishments away from me.