Book Update – It’s Done

The Apple Didn’t Fall, my memoir about growing up with a disabled mother only to become disabled myself, is complete at 48 chapters, 342 pages, 93397 words.

I'm currently exploring publishing options, of which there are many. This could take a while. I’ll update you when I figure out how I'm going to get this on bookshelves.

In the process of editing and re-editing the manuscript, I cut some perfectly good scenes and chapters for a variety of reasons. I kept everything that I deleted, however, in case I wanted to bring it back someday or use it in my next project. In The Apple Didn’t Fall, I skimmed over the period between my youth and when MS started to show up in my late 30s. I had fun summarizing everything that happened during those years in a single, humorous chapter. Alas, that mini-chapter didn’t survive editing, but I thought I would share it with you here. Enjoy.


Chapter 8 – Thirteen Years

Because I need to move this story along, I will summarize the next thirteen years, from the time I was twenty-two until the time I was thirty-five, in 500 words or less. Even more remarkably, I will accomplish this by using only dialogue and age markers.

Age 22

Kim: “I do.”

Mitch: “I do.”

Kim: “Why did you take a job in Cleveland?"

Mitch: “Because there were no jobs in Detroit?”

Mitch: “How do you like the apartment I chose for us?”

Kim: “On the 21^st floor? I married an idiot.”

Age 23

Kim, at my company outing: “Who wants to get some drinks afterward?”

All the people in Cleveland that we met because of Kim, and who remain our lifelong friends: “You guys are fun, especially Kim.”

Age 24

Kim: “Living in Cleveland for two years has been great, but let’s move back to the east coast.”

Mitch: “I found this tiny paper mill I can work at in Northwestern Vermont. Close enough?”

Kim: “Do they have bars in Vermont?”

Mitch: “Burlington is a college town, so yes, they have tons of them."

Kim: “Count me in."

Three months after moving, still age 24

Kim: “I’m pregnant.”

Mitch: “Here are the car keys. You’re the designated driver.”

Nine months later, age 25

Kim: “Ouch. That hurt.”

Mitch: “She is beautiful. Let’s name her Amy.”

Eleven days later, still age 25

Mitch: “I thought I might move back to our hometown of Lincoln, Maine when I was 100 years old, not when I was 25.”

Kim: “Can you believe you are going to work as a chemical engineer at the same paper mill where your grandfather and your father worked before you?”

Mitch: “You’re right. You did marry an idiot. But at least our parents will be thrilled that we’re moving home.”

Three months later, and still age 25

Mitch: “Congratulations on your first paycheck as a full-fledged teacher. How much money did you earn?”

Kim: “Bite me.”

Mitch: “I probably deserved that.”

Age 28

Kim: “Ouch. That hurt again.”

Mitch: “He is beautiful. Let’s name him Zachary.”

Kim: “That is such a bold and unusual name. Dare we?”

Mitch: “At least he’ll be a one-of-a-kind name. He’ll be unique.”

Age 29

Mitch: “Ouch. That hurt."

Kim: “After what I went through in childbirth, you dare complain about a vasectomy?"

Mitch: “I totally would’ve gone through childbirth for you if I could have.”

Kim: “You are full of shit.”

Age 31

Kim: “Congratulations on getting your MBA. How much of a raise did the mill give you?”

Mitch: “Bite me.”

Kim: “I probably deserved that.”

Age 35

Mitch: “How much bigger will your paycheck be next year, now that you have your master’s degree, and you’re a guidance counselor instead of a teacher?”

Kim: “Quite a bit, actually. Look at these numbers.”

Mitch: “Nice. You definitely deserve that.”

Kim: “Do these pants make me look fat?”

Mitch: “I would love to answer that question, but we have passed the 500-word limit.”

Kim: “Lucky bastard.”