We have friends, Robin and Sam, who live in Providence, Rhode Island. They visit us a couple of times a year. Two weeks ago we spent the day with them in our beautiful city of Portland, Maine. As we drove down Congress Street, I played tour guide and said, “On your right is Nosh Restaurant—a carnivore’s haven. Oh, on the left is Otto Pizza. Their mashed potato and bacon pie is my favorite.”
I continued, “Up here on the right is my medical marijuana dispensary.”
Robin asked, “Are you making much use of that?”
“Now and then, but it’s not helpful for my major symptoms.”
“You’ll never believe this,” Robin said, “but my 82-year-old father has raised the subject. He suffers from neurologic pain in his legs. He’s a stoic, tough old man, so I know if he complains about pain it must be awful.”
“Opioids?” I asked.
“He refuses to touch them, even if they might work. This is a man who has never done any drugs his entire life. Doesn’t drink. I think he sees cannabis as a natural treatment.”
“We could pull into the dispensary right now, and I could pick some up for him to try, except it’s illegal for me to give away medical marijuana.”
“I couldn’t ask you to do that.”
So we definitely did not pull into the dispensary. I certainly didn’t go in and buy a strain of marijuana called high CBD, which is supposedly good for pain control but doesn’t make the user “high.” I didn’t give it to Robin, and she didn’t take it back to Providence.
The next day she didn’t visit her 82-year-old father and tell him that she had acquired a sample of medical marijuana. Her father didn’t consult with his neurologist, who didn’t recommend that he give it a try.
Robin’s 82-year-old father didn’t consume the high CBD edible, and it didn’t eliminate all the pain in his legs. He didn’t decide that he would pursue obtaining medical marijuana legally through his state’s program.
And Robin didn’t enjoy blowing her brother's mind when she didn't call him to say, “I just gave our father some marijuana today.”
Did I mention Robin’s father is Jewish? I so wish I could have helped him because, who knows, maybe he would have said something like, “Thank Mitch for me, and tell him he did a mitzvah.”
I continued, “Up here on the right is my medical marijuana dispensary.”
Robin asked, “Are you making much use of that?”
“Now and then, but it’s not helpful for my major symptoms.”
“You’ll never believe this,” Robin said, “but my 82-year-old father has raised the subject. He suffers from neurologic pain in his legs. He’s a stoic, tough old man, so I know if he complains about pain it must be awful.”
“Opioids?” I asked.
“He refuses to touch them, even if they might work. This is a man who has never done any drugs his entire life. Doesn’t drink. I think he sees cannabis as a natural treatment.”
“We could pull into the dispensary right now, and I could pick some up for him to try, except it’s illegal for me to give away medical marijuana.”
“I couldn’t ask you to do that.”
So we definitely did not pull into the dispensary. I certainly didn’t go in and buy a strain of marijuana called high CBD, which is supposedly good for pain control but doesn’t make the user “high.” I didn’t give it to Robin, and she didn’t take it back to Providence.
The next day she didn’t visit her 82-year-old father and tell him that she had acquired a sample of medical marijuana. Her father didn’t consult with his neurologist, who didn’t recommend that he give it a try.
Robin’s 82-year-old father didn’t consume the high CBD edible, and it didn’t eliminate all the pain in his legs. He didn’t decide that he would pursue obtaining medical marijuana legally through his state’s program.
And Robin didn’t enjoy blowing her brother's mind when she didn't call him to say, “I just gave our father some marijuana today.”
Did I mention Robin’s father is Jewish? I so wish I could have helped him because, who knows, maybe he would have said something like, “Thank Mitch for me, and tell him he did a mitzvah.”
Posts
Chortle, chortle! Great story, Mitch. I especially enjoyed the ending.
ReplyDeleteGlad you liked it, Stu. Let me know if you have any ailments that can't be treated with traditional medicine, and I can not help you out as well.
Delete"Mitch Didn't Do a Mitzvah"
ReplyDeleteSo sad, some laws seem silly.
Darren, we have a recreational use referendum in the fall. Should be interesting.
DeleteOy vey
ReplyDeleteYou said it Scotty!
DeleteMitch the great news is you don't need a prescription for CBD. It's not a controlled substance and can be mailed to any state. I use the oil with good success. I do wonder if it would be better with one of the edibles you didn't mention. Perhaps that needs a prescription? I do get mine from a dispensary in CA.
ReplyDeleteKaren, thank you for pointing that out. Important information for folks who don't live in a medical marijuana state.
DeleteI got some of the oils mail order from CO (over the counter) and it was like licking the bottom of a dirty bong. Besides that, it didn't do a thing that I could tell. So I haven't pursued the medical stuff that is now legal in my state.
ReplyDeleteJust curious, what does it do for MS, besides pain? My doc keeps telling me it will be a "life-changer"
Daphne – you have a way with descriptions! What were you trying to accomplish? Pain control? I've heard that it potentially helps with spasticity, pain, and insomnia. I'm sure folks have seen benefits and other areas too.
DeleteI didn't enjoy reading that. :-)
ReplyDeleteI don't get your unusual tastes ;-)
Delete